Notes from a Doctor's Casebook

[ronnie]

Police today were commenting on an attempted armed robbery. The suspect, a Mr Adie (age 21) has unfortunately died from chest wounds.

A spokesman for the police, Sergeant Mcrae said the suspect was a well known local villain who had a history of robbing offences.

His glamorous red haired fiancée Molly declined to comment as she left the hospital on a vintage black motorbike.

[PLW (Peter)]

Several distressing cases today.

1. A vagrant with gallstones.
2. A bloke from the bird of prey display centre with some broken bones.
3. A chap called William with just about everything. Very, very pale.

Prescribed bed rest.

[Ollie]

A particulally ill-looking man came to me today. His name was Henry. I asked him about what had been going on. Lots of vomitting etc. I asked him about his diet. He told me that he had been eating lots of eels lately - well at least he thought they were eels.

[Mr Cat (Lewis)]

Man suffering from rickets and general vitamin C deficiency: apparently living off a diet of kippers and cider.

[Dave Russell]

After meeting  Dr Monk that night   her ability to map read  was mysteriously  gone  --stating  to her father that she could not find Maidenhead  .  
Everyone knows it`s just off the M4 between Slough and Reading .  

A Doctor writes...

Was able to restore her to full health by putting her head where her feet were before (to the accompaniment of descending triplets).  Advised her in future to confer with her Mother rather than her Father on such matters.

[Jan_]

This evening's surgery was suddenly interrupted by the arrival of the London coach and a young man suffering from hypothermia.  What did he expect, roaming the countryside wearing nothing but a leaf?  I advised him, in future, to refrain from brandishing his pistol () along the banks of the Avon.